France - Versailles - December 15, 1687
I cried and cried for freedom, but to no avail. Within that dark and damp place, I thought desperately about
and our son would never be born. I was afraid of death as never felt before. The hours of horror that I witnessed while I was in that terrible place closed, it was the worst possible, but my body was so fragile that I have suffered violence, and almost had no strength to cry for anyone. Edmond
- What have I done to these people? - Said to me repeatedly. - Why my error, or sin - as accused me - was considered so alarming and so hurtful? Happiness, for them, should be considered very cruel, lustful, unworthy ... All that certainly did not look like what
and I were living. Oh, I was so happy! I wanted so much to have this child! -lamented, in tears. - My God, please do not leave me here! What have I done to deserve this? It was for me give the killer of my husband? Forgive me, Lord, but do not let my baby to pay my fault! Edmond
I myself had witnessed the killing of some women and even men, on charges of witchcraft, or incitement to paganism. I thought such an absurd punishments, but somehow, I could have believed that some divine approval what they did - in the name of the Church - because I had no idea how vain were the accusations and evasions. I could feel at that moment inside my soul, the pain and anguish of the innocents who were murdered. Some burned alive, others hanged. Many of the women who were cowardly persecution probably had not committed acts of sorcery and frivolity defendants. Some of them were heroes because they do not show self-pity, others cried out for mercy, but almost none of the accused were acquitted.
Cold, hunger, thirst and misfortunes of the injuries were crucial to my despair. By the natural survival instinct, I fought till my last breath to try to escape. For hours, I watched the dark and dirty bricks that surrounded me and waited for my exhaustion. Other times, I was filled with false hopes and continued to call for
. But he was not listening. Nobody listened to me! There was only silence at the crack of light, that's all I had left to see the outside world. The feeling of powerlessness in the face of his own desire to die quickly because it could not be saved, it was left to me. The silence and emptiness of that filthy place was appalling. I even believe I was being severely punished for heavenly forces, but nevertheless in no time I regretted what he had lived until then. Edmond
Fallen to the ground, covered with mud and insects, after two days of confinement, closed my eyes and prayed for death to take me with you soon, and that God would have pity on my suffering. I had no expectation that they met me there. After many hours of abstinence, thirst and fatigue, I felt my life was finally fading. I went hands on my belly, already quite bulky, and I could feel my last baby move. Although he had the blood of someone very special, still needed to survive my life, so also was with me.
Eternal is published in Brazil by Editora Literata in the printed version.
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